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  • Writer's pictureSandra Caganoff

Dear Sandra

Updated: Jan 17, 2021

Dear Sandra

I am a 40 year old single woman. Up until a year ago I felt okay, together, self sufficient, strong, even sexy.

But lately I feel bored, dull and miserable. I wish I could meet someone but it's so hard.

I don’t know where to begin. Should I join a dating site?

Should I join an Ashram?

Please help.

Love, Messed Up


Dear Messed Up

Hey. First of all, lose the name. You sound pretty together, even if just for reaching out. And right now, we all feel a bit dull and miserable. It's been a hard year.

The idea of an Ashram is brilliant! But before you do that, because you are committing to a life of meditation, chores, tie-dye and hippie pants, try this…

Talk to people in the line at your coffee shop. Say hi while you smile and keep your distance.Take your dog with you, if you have one. An animal always help break the ice.

If you don't drink coffee, you need to start.

Is there someone you’ve secretly liked for a while? Had your eye on but for whatever reason, never went for it. Now is the time. Send him a text. Ask him to join you for a walk in the park. Tell him how you feel.

You have nothing to lose.

Put the word out there with your friends. You never know, they may just have the perfect blind date for you. I know someone who recently asked her 500 friends on Facebook if they had any ideas, and today she's with someone!

It worked, and how amazing to show your vulnerability too.

If none of the above appeals, try a dating site. Or do it at the same time. Doing sites can be demoralising. You will have to deal with men who say: ‘Hello, you have a lovely smile’ or with men who hit on you before you’ve even said hello. But, go for it. Put your pic up, create a nice bio, make sure people know you are serious about meeting someone, and then - be open.

Good luck. You're not messed up.

Invite me to the wedding.

Love, Sandra

N.B. I could write your bio for you? Hire me.

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